Category Archives: Philosophy

A Different Kind of Challenge

Pontus in a tree!

It’s been over 9 months since we got back from Pakistan and settled for a while in Stockholm, and our baby moved into my belly. Made him/herself comfortable and became the third part of our family. Now that we’re no more than two days (!) from due date, I reflect a lot upon the different kind of adventure that we’ve had the privilege to meet this year.

Travelling around the world is a big challenge. Constantly meeting new people, new scenarios, adjust, adapt, stay alert, keep the energy and passion even if your money run out or you loose your way. But in a way I find all that very easy, very natural. When we’re on the move, we are also “served” with experiences. Automatically fascinated and amused by the world around us as we gain new skills and knowledge. I’m not saying travelling is only easy, but it’s part of a travelers nature to discover and soak up the new atmosphere. Inspired to tell, to write, to share and learn.

Since March when we moved to Stockholm and started working regular jobs again, we’ve obviously been a lot more stationary. Especially due to the pregnancy and me vomiting 15 times a day for a few months. That makes me philosophize about what’s more challenging; to travel the world or to stay just as inspired in your daily, stationary life? Both, I’m sure, in their own ways as the grass often seems to be greener on the other side. For me personally right now, I know the answer :) !

Make no mistake; I am incredibly happy and I’m doing excellent. We are so excited to meet our baby that our apartment shivers, and I absolutely LOVE living the life I live right now! All I want is to remind you all including myself for the new year ahead, that making your weekdays feel fresh and new is a challenge worth credit. To keep lifting your chin above the wall, to keep looking AROUND the corner you pass every day on your way home from work, that takes some effort.

We are inspired by our friends, by making bread and baking cakes, by our mango baby plant, meeting couchsurfers (although it’s been a while now), picking mushrooms in Gotland and spending time with each other and the kicking belly. What ever you do in your daily life, it will be just as much fun as YOU make it! Merry Christmas to those of you who will celebrate it and a happy new year to all you njaros out there!


Good Luck Or a Matter of Behavior

What is good luck?
From a philosophic perspective, you could say that “luck” doesn’t exist. That there are no such things as having good or bad luck. Many people who were impressed as we returned from Pakistan also told us that we had had “a lot of good luck”.

From one point of view, they might have been right. You might consider good luck as when a situation where you are totally out of control still turns out well. Like, you meet a black mamba but it doesn’t bite you, or somebody tries to rob you but you don’t loose any valuables. But more likely is that the mamba doesn’t bite you cause you didn’t freak out enough to offend the animal. Or you’d been smart not to carry any loose money or wear any jewelry worth steeling.

Meaning, it’s not your “good luck” that saves you, it’s a matter of your behavior.
You surely COULD get hit by a car while crossing the road, but most of the times you’d prevent this by looking carefully before crossing.

Yes, we are very lucky that nothing incredibly bad happened to us along our way from Poland to Pakistan, and many other times in life as well. But was it just fate sending us a few hundred amazing people to pick us up as we hitchhiked, or did our attitude and choice of behavior also bring out the best of the people we met?

You are mightier than you might think. You are in position to drive, change and affect what happens to you. Break down negative destiny. Create a new one that suits you.

Family In The Middle East vs Sweden

“How big is your house?” was a very common question we received in the Middle East. Time after time we answered that we don’t have a house, we live in an apartment and it’s only one room, 30 square meters big. Or small, if you like to think so.
“Really?” They said, perplexed and confused. Thinking we must be rich, traveling around the world, and here we are telling them that our home is a one room apartment! It doesn’t fit in their picture of a rich person. What they don’t count in though, is that Swedes rarely live the whole extended family together, as they often do themselves. Of course they need a bigger house than we do, we’re only two!

When two people are getting married in most Middle Eastern countries (and they do it like every day), the bride moves into the groom’s house with his family. If the family has many sons, they will expand more and more as each of them is supposed to get married and have children. Only the families with many daughters might shrink, since the daughters move out.

In the Middle East, people simply see no reason for a person to move out before he or she gets married. So unlike Sweden where many teenagers already live on their own while studying. It sometimes happens that bride and groom move to a new home after the wedding even in the Middle East, if the father of the groom wants to buy them a house. If he can’t give them a house, he might buy them a car, “at least”, as a friend in Iran said.

Let us assure you, we’ve written these facts down carefully to teach our parents the proper way of treating young lovers. Just as carefully as we’ve noticed that every person out of the 500-1500 on the guest list in a Middle Eastern wedding must bring an equal amount of gold as a gift.

This is a sort of life insurance for the young couple. Zarah, a young mother who we met in Kurdistan explained, as she flicked through the 3000 photos from her wedding (one with each guest): “Here in Iraq, we love gold, very much!” Of course we let all our friends know about this important tradition as well, as soon as we got home ;) …

That couples in Sweden can live together and even have children without getting married, has been very hard for our Middle Eastern friends to understand. Same thing when we told them we only see our parents every now and then, not on a daily of even weekly basis.

Male friends in Pakistan told us they prefer their mother to find them a good girl to marry, since the relationship between the mother and the bride is more important than his own relationship with his wife. Because the bride and the mother will spend a lot more time together. We learnt in Pakistan that a man’s worst nightmare is to come home from work and find his mother and wife quarreling.
So the mother simply shows a photo of a nice girl, and asks her son if he would like to speak to her on the phone. “Then we speak, sometimes two of three times, and then we agree to get married.”

Marriage based on love is considered very unstable and weak, since love can come and go. “And if you already know each other, then what’s left to discover? Nothing!” This is very difficult for us Swedes to understand. We can’t think of any friends who would marry somebody after just speaking on the phone a few times. Most couples would live together for at least a few years first.

But the family situation in Turkey, Syria, Jordan, Iraq, Iran and Pakistan has really inspired us. How highly valued the family is, and how close people stay together! We actually try to meet with our families more often since we came back to Sweden. Except for the father-of-the-groom-paying-for-the-new-house and the every-guest-has-to-bring-gold-to-the-wedding-traditions, we probably found the importance of the family our most important lesson from the Middle East. It’s well worth to think through. Now – time to go to grandmother’s over Easter.

Get Over Your Comfort With CouchSurfing

Let’s talk about comfort and what it does to your mind.
As long as you’re out on the road, you are constantly driven by very basic survival instincts. You’re looking for somewhere to stay the night, something to eat and new sights to thrill your already beating heart. You care for your visas, your rare Internet connection or for your stomach adjusting to the new food. All this helps you staying hungry for all the comfort you can get and all the new friends you can potentially meet. Everything is valuable.

But once you’re back home, having a fixed shedule day by day, you run the risk of loosing your interest in new things. Luckily, we have the best idea for those who want to stay hungry and not fall into boring routines.
We’ve said it before and we’re saying it again: Join CouchSurfing!

Our first guest, only a few days after our arrival in Sweden (which was by then still a frozen country of ice and snow) was Breno Cola. Breno is our Brazilian friend who we met through this blog, and who later on started his own journey and ended up in Sweden. We had a great time together, eating dinner, driving around Gotland and sightseeing in Stockholm with Breno, who was fascinated by the beaches all white and cold and beautiful. We never thought it was funny to walk over an ice covered beach, but Breno opened up our eyes. Brazilian beaches are hot and filled with tanning ladies in bikinis. All of a sudden we saw the wonder that Breno saw.

About two weeks after Breno left, we invited our first “real” CouchSurfers, Katrina from Poland and Michaela from Romania. It’s so easy to think that it is going to be tiring, or too crowded to squeeze in two more people at our 30 square meters. Why does it seem so different from when we’ve been the ones sleeping on couches all over the world? Well, the perspectives changes as your lifestyle changes. It’s perfectly logical, it is probably very normal and common too, but it is just as easy as everything else to change by one simple step. JUST DO IT.

Bring people into your home! You don’t need to do it too often. Just give it a try, and find that it can be the greatest boost for yourself. Having CouchSurfers staying over really makes you see your own life through new eyes. We rarely feel particularly grateful for the drinkable tap water in Stockholm, but our guests from Poland made us aware of the fact that this is a privilege. We don’t notice how clean the streets are, but our foreign friends are amazed! It takes us two days back in Sweden to forget how rare it is that cars stop for you in a capital city, or that the air feels fresh, or that having supermarkets and bars and parks and our offices nearby are also luxury benefits. We would not ever visit all the interesting museums in our city if it wasn’t for our CouchSurfers.

This actual exchange is in fact so eye opening that our minds are full of new ideas when the week starts over again. We’ve been traveling all weekend without moving. And the fear about our own comfort and privacy is far away since the very minute our guests enter our home.

Is you apartment really too small? Or your schedule really too busy? Or is it just your comfort that is too high for your own mind to grow? Give it a try, invite a CouchSurfer, or put yourself available for coffee or a drink. Making new friends keeps your mind fresh, and you will find overwhelming appreciation from your guests. Plus when you eventually DO move, there will be couches waiting for you in other countries.

Here you go once more: – the easies way to fight your own comfort and let your heart grow!

Quiting Your Job Gives You New Jobs

A few weeks later.
A few nice weeks of hot showers, coffee in the morning and movies every night. Comfy bed to sleep in, supermarket next door, friends over for dinner every other night and actually, jobs rolling in like never before. It has been an amazing homecoming.

We still wake up every morning and go to sleep every night saying to each other “This is a damn good life!”

Quiting your job to do something different might be scary. What if you don’t find a new job when (if) that time comes? What if you will fall and not fly. We’ve heard all those things. That it would be more safe and secure for us to upgrade at work than to quit. What happens when we run out of money?

Well, here we are, and we’ve already been working for a while at our new jobs. And more offers keep rolling in.
Do you know what people say when they call us in for interviews? They don’t care much about our previous working experience. They don’t look too much at our references. But they DO care for that we’ve hitchhiked from Poland to Pakistan. That we’ve driven a website at our own initiative and with our own imagination. That stands out. That is something to talk about. That seems to qualify us for any job we like.

We are not exhausted after the week when we have breakfast Saturday morning. We’re boiling over with new ideas for new project, cause our minds are fresh, and we feel fresh.

Quiting our jobs was probably the best thing we’d ever put on our CV.